Air Zimbabwe
Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen! This is your
Captain Mazwita welcoming both seated and standing passengers on
board of Air Zimbabwe.
Please ignore the big red 'L' signs outside the plane. We apologise
for the four-day delay in taking off, it was due to bad weather and
some overtime I had to put in at the bakery. This is flight 126 to
Harare. Landing there is not guaranteed, but we will end up somewhere
in Zimbabwe.If luck is in our favour, we may even be landing on your
village!
Air Zimbabwe has an excellent safety-record, in fact our
safety standards are so high that even terrorists are afraid to fly
with us! It is with pleasure, I announce that starting this year
over 30% of our passengers have reached their destination.If our
engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can arrange
to turn them off! To make your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable,
we serve complimentary Tanganda tea and Rambawarira biscuits! For our
not-so-religious passengers, we are the only airline which can help you
find out if there really is a God.
We regret to inform you, that today's in-flight movie will not
be shown as we forgot to record it from the television.But for our
movie buffs, we will be flying right next to British Airways, where
their movie will be visible from the right side of the cabin window.
There is no smoking allowed in this air plane.Any smoke you see
in the cabin is only the early warning system on the engines telling us
to slow down! In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly
as close as possible for the best view.If, however, we go a little
too close, do let us know.Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies
right through the landmark!Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an
upright position for take-off and your seat-belt.For those of you who
can't find a seat-belt,kindly fasten your own belt to the arm of your
seat...and for those of you who can't find a seat, do not hesitate
to get in touch with a stewardess who will explain how to fasten
yourself to your suitcase. ENJOY YOUR TRAVEL WITH AIR ZIMBABWE!